Father's Day

Father's Day is a day to celebrate dad and all he does for his kids but I don't feel I deserve it.

I love my daughters more then anything and everything they are. I look forward to what they are going to grow to be. I am so proud of who they are even at their young ages. I love them very, very much and only want the best for them.

I have not been the best dad, I know this. I don't spend the time with them that they need. I don't always show love and affection the way I should. I am tired and cranky most of the time due to my work schedule and working towards my degree. I often put them after the things that should be put after them. I do what I do so they can have the things they need and want. I really try to be a good dad but I feel like I have failed them on so many levels. I truly know I am not the best dad.

Doing what I do allows for my wife to be a stay at home mom, a confidant and a friend to them. I often miss many important activities but she is able to make it to all of them. In some ways this makes me feel good but also a little sad. I see the relationship she has with them and wish I could have that also. I am not jealous and know why things are the way they are. I know I am missing so much of their younger years and know I will never it get it back though.

I will keep telling myself I am doing what I am doing for them and my wife. I will keep praying to God that they will someday see I worked this schedule and worked for my college diploma not out of selfishness for me but for them. I hope one day they will love me for who I am and what I did and not just because I am their dad.

I would like to say happy Father's Day to my own dad. You are here for me whenever needed. You have given me so much, taught me so much and gone without so much. When mom died when I was 8 you became the only provider. Doing two jobs instead of one was not easy but you did well. I love you dad.